One of the things that really bothers me about anti-feminists is that they are basing all of their evidence on “why feminists and feminism is bad” from radical/extremist feminists - people who believe that we shouldn’t have gender labels at all, or who claim to hate certain gender groups, believe…
I really like this post. Although I would like to qualify my beliefs by stating that I believe in equity across all genders, not necessarily equality. Still, I am glad there are people on tumblr discussing this viewpoint.
That awkward moment when you intend on writing a quirky “hey, I’m thinking of you” note and instead end up with a long philosophical discussion of your views on life, death and love. I’m too awkward for this whole dating thing.
Equality is not a concept. It’s not something we should be striving for. It’s a necessity. Equality is like gravity. We need it to stand on this earth as men and women, and the misogyny that is in every culture is not a true part of the human condition. It is life out of balance, and that imbalance is sucking something out of the soul of every man and woman who’s confronted with it. We need equality. Kinda now.
Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a person’s sexual choice is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions. Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of life. Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves. No matter what corruption they’re taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which they cannot perform for any motive but their own enjoyment - just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity! - an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exultation, only on the confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces them to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and accept their real ego as their standard of value. They will always be attracted to the person who reflects their deepest vision of themselves, the person whose surrender permits them to experience - or to fake - a sense of self-esteem .. Love is our response to our highest values - and can be nothing else.
”To love is to value. Only a rationally selfish man, a man of self-esteem, is capable of love—because he is the only man capable of holding firm, consistent, uncompromising, unbetrayed values. The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.
Me: (The night before I said something about get better soon)
J: Thanks, was feeling stressed and depressed last night so that helped
Me: Hope your exams go well! How come you feel depressed?
J: Was just feeling bummed out still and then had to try and concentrate on my two exams which was stressing me out.
Me: Yuck, that sucks. Well you are close to the end which is great. Then you have a long break! You got this J
Me: Hope your final went well. Hey I don’t mean to sound rude butI’m confused as to why your sad. I recall you stating you didn’t want anything serious in college, and yet you seem upset that I casually see people in a non-committal manner.
J: It’s something I’d probably want to talk about to clarify for myself as well. Guess I’m feeling pulled in multiple directions. I enjoy moments of intimacy and a lot of being close. When I’m reminded there’s other people it trivialized everything. The idea of “suitors” has always stuck with me and bothered me…
Me: Understood, but that implies you prefer seriousness over casual affairs…
J: After thanksgiving I appreciated your message saying you felt bad for being focused on your problems. It seemed like you were slowly closing up relationships. In my eyes things were tending in that direction and it felt very comforting. I didn’t want to force it that way but was happy it seemed to be going there
Me: Oh, I’m sorry that’s not what I meant. I want to be more attentive to your needs as my friend. Things end & start up w/ other people, but I haven’t found a long term potential yet
J: Makes sense, yeah I’m not looking for a long term serious relationship at this point. It’s hard to describe but I do like the comfort of something short term. It’s all just a bit confusing to me right now. Glad our friendship though is always gonna be there
I find the reasoning behind people’s motivations utterly fascinating. Such as when men are “not looking for anything serious” or “just want to have fun” in college. Well if a woman expresses a similar viewpoint they get all up in arms over the lack of monogamy. Why are you complaining if you are having fun? To quote Gladiator, “are you not entertained?”—
